


Forgotten Memories Forge Winding Paths

by mosaicofdreamsanddragons



Series: There Are an Awful Lot of Time Travelers Running Around in this Timeline [1]
Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Character Interpretation, Alternate Universe, AlternateAyamatsuIf/PrideIf!Reinhard in the main rezero timeline, Ayamatsu If/Pride If au, Major Spoilers for season 1 and the 1st episode of season 2 of rezero, No flames please, Rated T for swearing because I am paranoid, first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26073559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mosaicofdreamsanddragons/pseuds/mosaicofdreamsanddragons
Summary: Instead of Emilia, Reinhard kills the archbishop of Pride, only for the sin archbishop's authority to mesh with one of his divine protections and send him back in time. Now he's stuck trying to avoid the future that he knows is coming, while trying to find out if he came back alone or if Pride came back with him.Also known as PrideIf!Reinhard gets stuck in the main timeline.
Series: There Are an Awful Lot of Time Travelers Running Around in this Timeline [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102631
Comments: 72
Kudos: 257





	1. A Different Encounter Might Change Everything

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came from a translated fan comic I saw on Pinterest. Link here: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/707557791449964779/  
> or here:  
> https://imgur.com/drFVATT
> 
> If those links aren't working, in summary: Reinhard confronts and kills Pride!Subaru sending Subaru back to the very beginning instead of his last checkpoint. In my story the first flashback is from this comic, the rest are variations of the main Pride If story.
> 
> For those who do not know Pride If: Subaru goes crazy because he never calls for help from the guards for 88 loops. When he does he sees Reinhard take Elsa down in a second. Then he becomes Archbishop of Pride, uses a lot of murder to put Emilia on the throne (planning to have her kill him once and for all to further solidify her rule), and, out of spite, destroy Reinhard's life.

Reinhard wished he believed in second chances. He really did. He knows it looked like he believes in second chances, it was part of being a hero after all, which is why Pride’s trap worked so well. All Pride needed to do was show the world that Reinhard was not really a hero and instead paint him as an out-of-control knight templar who’s stolen gifts were not worth the good he did. He fell for it once. Once! 

And he would not fall for it again.

No matter when the bastard sent him.

He straightened his technically-off-guard-duty uniform and set out to patrol the streets on the morning of the day he would meet Pride’s Elsa for the first time. The day it all began he supposed, though it really had not felt like that at the time. For him it had been a Tuesday with yet another scared local calling in with a new opponent who he hadn’t even need to draw his sword against. Really the only memorable moment had been bumping into Emilia and hushing up the whole debacle of her losing her insignia. Oh, by the dragon, that women was now queen. Had been queen? Would be queen?

A scream interrupted his thoughts. Grateful for a chance not to contemplate the horror he’d come from, he raised to the aid of the…lady by the sound of it. Instead he got three thugs confronting a silhouette of a boy in odd clothing. Oddly familiar clothing.

The thugs interpreted his thunderous look as meant for them. They babbled his name and titles even though everyone here knew them. Pride certainly did. But the bastard was doing nothing but staring at him, so he figured he might as well try diplomacy. “I’m not sure how much my modest strength could aid him,” he said as he knew damn well Pride would just rewind time to please him (he’d already done it once bringing them both to this day and Reinhard was sick of it), “But if you wish to resort to extreme measures, as a knight I would have to fight back.”

That was enough for the thugs. It was not enough for Pride, he was still staring at him like he’d declared he was from beyond the great waterfall. ‘Words to say to comfort scared children’ #4 (damn you Julius and your lessons on how to get good press) was out of his mouth before he even knew what he was saying.

“I’m glad we’re both safe. Are you unhurt?”

Pride’s shock morphed into a sudden soft smile before he launched into a heartfelt performance. “A-allow me to thank you, from the bottom of my heart for saving my life!” he practically shouted with eyes closed and hand gripping the front of his clothing over the heart. “I, Natsuki Subaru, deeply admire your selflessness!”

_Oh._

  


_“You still morn for those you have killed? Perhaps under different circumstances…” He’d stopped then because, for all he’d been about to say about potential good in the monster before him, he had not truly believed it. But the look of sadness and loneliness on his enemy’s face then almost made him believe again. Through divine empathy he could feel statement ring true and for a second he’d thought he’d touched something like a heart in that madman._

_Only for his eyes to narrow and a low growl to be emitted from one who was the very embodiment of Pride, “You’ve lost it”_

  


_No. Don’t go there, don’t forget who stands before you. He’s told you his name, but don’t assume for a moment that he’s not playing with you._ “No need for such formality,” Reinhard said with the fakest smile he could muster. “Once it was three against two, they lost their advantage.” Pride’s posture relaxed as Reinhard let out one of Julius’ ‘Lines for Positive Public Relations’. Maybe those lessons hadn’t been such a waste. Especially when he could throw in lines like this: “If I’d been alone, it would have been different.” _C’mon Pride take the bait._

Pride was staring at him like he hung the stares before letting his head dip. Straightening again, the slowly began, “Uh…Reinhard-san, right?”

 _You know my name you little bastard. You were obsessed with me,_ he wanted to scream. “You may just call me ‘Reinhard,’ Subaru.”

That at least got a reaction. Pride seemed visibly nervous at the informal use of his name. And then he shot back Reinhard’s very own fake smile back with a, “Well, thanks again, Reinhard. You’re the only one who heard me shouting and came to help…talk about lonely.”

 _Is Pride trying to seem humble? Oh this must be killing him on the inside._ Perhaps that crack just needed a little widening. “For most, it’s too risky to face off against people like them. As far as it goes, you were right to call for the guards.”

“Are you a guard? You don’t look like one…”

The idea of Pride not knowing what a knights uniform looked like was to funny not to indulge. “I’m off duty today, so I’m not in uniform,” he half lied. “And I realize I don’t appear particularly intimidating” _Even though I killed you looking like this._

“Come to think of it, didn’t they call you a master swordsman?” Oh right, Pride hadn’t even been strong enough to warrant drawing his sword. He’d probably never seen it in action.

“My family is fairly unique.” He said drawing Pride attention from the dragons sword he would never see used back to the man who he should be worried about. “Every day I feel crushed by their expectations.” The humility had been meant to jab at Pride’s ego, but it drew images of the grandfather who’d been whipped from existence in the true timeline into his head and Reinhard realized he’d genuinely meant those words. That would not due, no use giving Pride another target. “Anyways, Subaru,” he said, “You have quite the unusual hair, apparel, and name. What nation are you from?”

If Pride though the change in topic telling he did not show it. Instead he suddenly seemed fascinated by his strange clothes and shocked Reinhard could not tell the difference. “At the moment, Lugunica is a bit more resistive than in peacetime,” Reinhard continued. “If you have a problem, I’d be glad to help you.” Oh that was ‘Words to Say to Comfort Scared Children’ #5, _damn you Julius._

Pride did not notice. In fact he seemed thrilled, if the hast in his voice and bounce in his posture were anything to go by, “Would you come to the loot house?”

“The loot house?”

Pride froze as if the name had suddenly brought realization of who he was talking to. He was scared, for the first time since there conversation had started. Perhaps he was thinking better of his little trap. “N-Never mind….Forget it. I can’t trouble you with that…I’ll handle it on my own somehow.” _Liar._ “Have you seen a girl with white robes and silver hair nearby?”

“White robes and silver hair?” he repeated while he struggled to figure out what Pride wanted with the future queen. He’d been rather obsessed with her, was the loot house a trap? Had he been too hasty in assuming this was about them and not her?  
“She’s also extremely gorgeous!” Pride exclaimed.

 _Of course you think that, you witchlover._ “No, I haven’t.”

“Then if you do see her, tell her not to go near the loot house, no matter what. I’ll find what she’s looking for and bring it to her myself.” To Reinhard’s shock, there was nothing but honest sincerity in those words. _There goes my trap idea._

“Very well. If I see her, I shall relay your message.” The lie satisfied Pride and he thanked Reinhard as he turned to go.

He got a few steps before turning around and staring at Reinhard like he was some sort of raging mabeast “I’ll repay you one day,” he gasped before running off.

“Alright, take care.” He said before allowing himself to relax, now the Sin Archbishop was out of sight. _What was that about?_

  


_A madman stands in the middle of a burning city, speaking about things he should not know. Lamenting how impossible it is to kill Reinhard, confessing how much he admires and hates him. He speaks of Reinhard like the knight has already killed him multiple times. It had seemed like the ramblings of a mad man. He paid it no heed._

 _He regrets that._

  


He was on his way to the loot house when fate wacked into him. He’d been on his way because, well, he was curious and he hadn’t been able to find Emilia so whatever Pride was planning it could very well be about to come to fruition. Then a girl who looked so much like Fourier it hurt, smacked into him. He wasn’t even thinking when he promised her his help. It’d honestly been a gut reaction to one who could have been Fourier’s dead (missing, he’d always said she was missing) baby cousin.

She took off back where she’d came from. Explaining breathlessly as they ran about how someone was attacking the loot house. That only strengthened his resolve to jump to her aid. No point in letting civilians get caught up in Pride’s little plan. He’d been expecting Elsa, he will admit that. He had not been expecting her to be trying to kill Pride.

Well at least Pride hadn’t been expecting him if his “Reinhard?” was anything to go by. Well, well, well, if this was some sort of set up to get Emilia to trust him he was going to have to do so without his faithful number two and he was going to know that he’d lost her because he’d drawn Reinhard into this.

“We meet again. Sorry I’m late,” said Reinhard hoping for some sort of reaction from Pride.

Instead all he got from Pride during the fight was shock at Elsa’s titles. Which honestly had to be faked because Pride knew his own subordinate. Right? Oh well. He banished Pride to the civilians and got nothing…but a warning against Elsa’s multiple blades, and an excited call to use his mana once Emilia was done healing.

He managed to hold back, only destroying the loot house. Though Pride was less than impressed. “You slay monsters my ass! You’re a monster yourself!”

Oh he knew how long Pride had been itching to say that, but still, coming from him of all people, “Even I’m a bit hurt by a comment like that Subaru.”

He turned his attention back to the sword he’d found as an excuse to observe Pride’s interaction with Emilia. She didn’t think much of his comments about all the time he’d died. But Reinhard knew better. _Stabbed in the gut and lost his arms ehh? Also Emilia getting cut up. Had those been earlier uses of his time abilities? Was he still using them and I couldn’t tell?_

Pride’s voice brought him out of his disturbing thoughts “Oh yeah, Reinhard…I haven’t thanked you yet.” _What?_ “You saved my ass” _This must be killing him inside._ Reinhard activated Divine Empathy to get a better look at Pride’s emotions. “Back in the alley, too. I guess you heard my heart’s cries for help, friend!” _He meant that, he meant every word. Oh you lonely madman._

“If I did do that, I’d certainly be proud…friend.” Might as well if the term was being used. He turned to Felt “She was desperately running around the streets and asked for my help.”

Emilia seemed to recognize Felt and Pride tried desperately to calm her perceived anger, not that it was needed.

_Kill him. Kill the boy who interfered._

The anger he’d thought he had a strong hold on shocked him until he realized that wasn’t his thought. He hadn’t turned off Divine Empathy. “Subaru!” he yelled as Elsa burst out of the rubble. Subaru shoved Elsa out of the way and took the blow, to Elsa’s annoyance. She hated him. Had…had they not met yet? Did he prevent Pride from recruiting her?

He turned his attention to helping the future queen, but she was preoccupied with Pride’s recklessness, to his chagrin. Pride then bemoaned the work it took, _don’t think I don’t know you’re talking about loops Pride,_ before moving into a performance. “My name is Natsuki Subaru and I just saved your life from a heinous villain! Are we OK on that?”

“OK?” said the girl who would be queen. They were all doomed.

“It means, ‘Are we clear on that?’,” Pride cheerfully explained as he mimed something which probably was OK. “So I, your rescuer, saved your life. And you are the heroine I saved! So wouldn’t that mean you should repay me in kind? Wouldn’t it?”

_Oh Shit_

“Alright I get it,” said the Queen-to-be, “Only if its within my power, of course.”

“In that case, I have only one request! Yes my request is…”

_…is for you to kill me_

“…Tell me your name.”

Emilia giggled and told him her name. His whole demeanor softened. And then they were shaking hands…oh no…no no nonoonononononono

  


_“Why?”_

 _“Because I love you”_

  


Time to turn on the charm that drove Fourier crazy when he was talking to Crusch. “Anyways Subaru, I’m impressed that you’re unhurt.” Play up Pride’s ego, expose his ugly sides to the beautiful princess, break up whatever this is.

Subaru grinned and nodded to the club that had protected him “That thing protected me just in time. If not for that, I’d be in two pieces right now.”

Well two can play that game. He picked up half of the club. “True, if not for this…” oh it was cut in half. Which meant… Subaru stared in shock as his stomach opened up. He collapsed.

 _Not again_ thought Reinhard. _Not again, don’t drag me back with you this time._

Fortunately Emilia knew a thing or two about healing. As she sat back after completing his treatment, Reinhard asked “By the way, Lady Emilia what is your relation to Subaru?” He’d always wondered if there had been something or some way they knew each other that made sense.

“A passing acquaintance?” she said. “I don’t recall ever meeting him before.” _Didn’t completely rule it out but still._ “I thought our meeting, earlier today, was the first.”

“But he was looking for you,” he mused _even in the other timeline, he was looking for you._ “He said he had something to give you.”

“That’s why it’s so strange.”

“What should we do with him? I’d be glad to take him home as a guest.” Keep your enemies closer and all that.

“No I’ll take him home with me. That way I can learn what’s really going on.” Oh good girl. He’d been about to risk telling her, something he hadn’t tried yet. “But more importantly what will become of that girl and the old man?”

“Officially I cannot overlook what they’ve done. But unfortunately, I’m off duty today,” that was true, he’d asked for the day off when he’d realized he was in the past.

“You’re a bad knight,” Emilia laughed and went over to comfort the little girl. Who was returning the insignia, good, which was glowing…. _Oh_

OH YES!!!!

“What’s your name?” _Fourier, Fourier I found her._

“Felt!” _Andromeda, your name was Andromeda._

“And your family name? How old are you?”

“I don’t have anything fancy like a family name. And I’m fifteen I think. I don’t know my own birthday!” _Fourteen, you’re fourteen for a few more months._

“Lady Emilia I cannot keep my promise to you, I shall be taking this girl with me.”

_Finally, finally I found something that could change this timeline for good. Felt, Andromeda Lugnica, whoever you are, I will make you Queen. I will make you Queen and then the future can never come to pass!!!_

Reinhard was not a man who believed in second chances but, as he stood there clutching a thief girl who would have died in prison had their paths not crossed, Reinhard felt something akin to hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fourier is the youngest prince of the now dead royal family who was about Reinhard, Julius, Ferris, and Crusch's age. He had a crush on Crusch and I'm assuming knew Reinhard.
> 
> I do not know what Felt's real name would be but Reinhard probably would. This is a guess until it's confirmed. If you know or if its been revealed later on in the light novels, let me know in the comments.
> 
> If anyone of you know where I could find a translated copy of Pride If online, please let me know. I can't find the version I read anywhere anymore.


	2. A Sorrow Shared Could Lift a Load

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burdens are shared and plans are debated. Pride is out there but Reinhard's hands are full with Felt and there's not much he can do, except of course to share some of his knowledge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don't know, the scene Reinhard alludes to involving his mother, is from a side story "What Felt Saw." In summary: Felt stumbles upon the comatose body of a women while trying to escape and freaks out a bit until Reinhard shows up and explains that it's his mother. He also tells her Rom got away.

Felt did not adjust easily to life in the mansion. It was to be expected really, to suddenly find out you’re a lost princess (which he would tell her, when he managed to prove it) would be a lot for anyone to handle. 

Reinhard just wished it involved less escape attempts. 

It’s not that he couldn’t handle her attempts or that he didn’t think the staff enough to handle her, it just…it did make it difficult for him to plan his next move against Pride, or even check up on Pride, when he had his hands full with thwarting her plans, turning her into a lady, and preparing to announce her presence to the other candidates. 

Well maybe that wasn’t the issue. 

He may have been intentionally stalling.

In his defense, all of those things needed to be done to get Felt into shape as the next Queen, but it also meant he didn’t have to think about what mayhem Pride was creating over at Emilia’s camp. Or how badly he was failing Emilia by sitting back and letting fate handle itself. She wasn’t his queen but she was still someone he should save if he could. He was a hero after all.

_You’re a hero Reinhard. It’s not possible for me to kill you. But I can kill a hero_

Honestly it was Felt finding his Mom that was the push he needed. Her reaction to his family life, her joy about finding out that Rom was free, all of that brought back floods of sadness and memories. Memories of a gulf painfully breached after the death of his grandfather…a grandfather still alive.

Felt had faith because those she cared about lived another day free.

It was time he did the same.

He had stood in front of Pride on the day he got flung back into the past and lied his head off without giving anything away. He had held his sadness inside when Julius died at a brainwashed Ferris’ hand. He’d kept his cool when others threw insults at him for failing to save his grandfather from his grandmother’s killer or killing the child assassin. He’d kept his head when battling a madman determined to burn his city to the ground.

He lost all that composure when he saw Julius breathing steadily, alive and real and warm and not cold and still while Ferris beside him smiled calmly with worry and mischief dancing in his eyes as he wore his favorite dress. 

“Has something happened?” said Julius as he awkwardly pat Reinhard on the back. 

“You curl up in your myansion for three days, and the first thing you do is cry your eyes out upon seeing us…” began Ferris, “Did you get dumped?”

“No, and its nothing life threatening Ferris…well not yet at least. And not for me…It’s just been so long…”

“It has been merely three days. We would have seen you sooner had you not requested the time off,” said Julius. 

“I know, but for me the time lapse has been…diffrent. Come sit down, this is going to take a while,” said Reinhard guiding the others to a private part of his garden. He’d picked it specifically because it was away from Felt (who was sleeping peacefully worn out from a day of fighting him about everything). “For you, last Tuesday was just that, Tuesday. For me it was the day I woke up almost three years in the past.” The two exchanged glances and he raised his hand. “Don’t start, I have to get this out. I was fighting the Sin Archbishop of Pride. Killed him, actually,” he could not stop the grin on his face when he said that, he had felt the madman die even if… “Then one of my divine protections meshed in an unusual way with his authority…

_Cold dark hands all over him, a women’s form shrouded in darkness, fear like he’d never felt before, a whisper in his ear that he couldn’t recall. But she was angry. That much he knew._

Something cold and wet on his ear jolted from his thoughts. His immediate viewpoint was filled with Ferris face grinning at him with concerned eyes, “You spaced out there.” Beyond Ferris’ massive face he could make out a smaller Julius, now also standing, with an equally concerned look on his face. 

“Sorry,” he gasped out. “How is unimportant. The important part is that after the clash sent me back I woke up on the day I met the Sin Archbishop of Pride’s number two, Elsa the Bowelhunter.”

“We did hear about that,” said Julius eyes narrowing as he gazed off into the distance. “She evaded capture. Is that the issue here? Will she run off to her master again?”

“No, that’s the weird part.” Reinhard said pulling up the memory he’d gone over a thousand times for confirmation. “She was trying to kill her master, a man who I’d met earlier that day.”

“You met him again?” Julius glanced up from his thoughts, which for him was as good as a violent start. “Do you require aid to capture him?”

“Did he come back with you?” said Ferris quietly. 

“I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t think so. Everything that bastard says could be interpreted either way.” _Genuine humility implies he doesn’t remember but openly mentions other time loops implies he does. Maybe I should set up a scoreboard_ “Elsa wanted to kill him, that much I know for certain. And the other thing I can tell you is where he is, right now.” He felt his voice drop reflexively and Ferris and Julius leaned in, eyes fixed on him, “He’s with Emilia in Roswaal’s mansion.”

“Then we should head there as well,” said Julius leaning back again. “If the lady requires aid, why are we sitting idle? It is our job as guards and pride as knights to aid her with this threat.”

“That’s the problem, she’s not in danger…physically. Pride was obsessed with her.” He wrestled back down his anger and the memories of the maniac’s last whisper to the girl who had been behind him. “And he was visibly calmer around her then I’ve seen him before.” _No laughing, no maniacal rambling, no killing. In fact…_ “He was actively trying to protect her, from someone who genuinely wanted to kill him, which is part of why I’m not sure if he is back in time. At least I know Elsa is not. She genuinely wanted her future boss dead and the last time I saw her she threw everything away to protect him.”

“And Ferris and I cannot move against the Emilia Camp’s new hero without more solid proof lest she or Margrave Roswaal believe it to merely be the manipulation of our factions,” finished Julius. He was actively pacing around the garden now, but Ferris was still, without bounce or even a flick of his ears. His hands were beside his side and he was staring at Reinhard.

“Tell us what happened,” said Ferris in an even but firm voice. “From your perspective.”

So he did. He told them about the first timeline, fighting Elsa, the rumors of the witch cults deaths, how those deaths kept being attributed to Emilia, Crusch’s camp being eliminated due to the white whale, Ferris’ disappearance…Julius and Ferris had collapsed onto the bench at the knowledge of Crusch’s fate. So he added the more happy tale of patching things up with his father in the wake of his grandfather’s lose before getting into Julius’ death at the hands of Ferris, the little note pinned to his corpse while it lay on his doorstep, the little girl assassin and her dog, her death, meeting Pride, Pride’s ramblings…

“…I didn’t listen because it seemed like little more than the delusions of a madman. But they weren’t, because when he died I went back in time too. And I opened my eyes to a not-burned Lugnica on the day this all began.” He’d thought himself dreaming at first and once certain of the date had wandered around unsure of what to do until he’d heard a ladylike scream.

He didn’t tell them that. But he did tell them about his cryptic conversation with Pride, finding a girl who lead him to the loothouse, and the fight with Elsa. He left out Felt and who she could be; that hope was his and he wasn’t ready to share it. 

It satisfied the other two enough that they didn’t ask any more questions. Julius sat back and crossed his arms, “I dislike this sitting back and allowing Pride make the first move.”

“Not much we could do,” said Reinhard clenching his fists at his own helplessness. “Technically, he has Emilia’s protection. Telling her would draw his attention, and you yourself said we need more proof to move.” He grit his teeth and forced his hands to unclench. 

“Then let’s focus on what we can do,” said Ferris. “We can’t go after Pride but we can make sure there are more who can stand against him. When did we get attacked by the White Whale?”

Reinhard raked his brains for some sort of clue. What had the date been? It’d been cooler, he’d been sad, the they’d said the funeral should be…. “Two months. We have two months before Crusch rides out to fight the whale. You try twice before you manage to find it.”

Ferris nodded. “I will tell my lady. We’ll prepare better this time.”

“Anyway I can talk you out of that?” said Reinhard. But Ferris was already shaking his head. 

“We knyew the risks beforehand, all this changes is the date of attack. And nyow we knyow there will be a problem we’ll have more firepower and manpower. And we won’t move until we’re sure this time.”

“Ferris, you may not die but you’re fate is arguably worse!” Reinhard leapt to his feet, towering above the still sitting Ferris.

“Stop,” said Julius reaching his arm out to push Reinhard back down. “Ferris has the right to make his own decisions. As does Crusch. If it were my lady, I would not risk her entering such a dangerous battle without me.” Julius paused, and ran one hand through his hair so it was fluttering in the wind when he continued, “Especially knowing the outcome.”

Reinhard paused, he hadn’t thought of it as abandoning Crusch. He collapsed back down on seat. “At least try to talk her out of it, if you can Ferris.”

“I will bring it up once, just once,” said Ferris stiffly.

Reinhard closed his eyes. _That’s probably the best I’ll get._ “And what about you Julius?”

“I also am unable to promise that should Ferris approach me after being presumed dead I would not lend him all the aid I am able,” Julius met Reinhard’s eyes dead on. “But I can promise you that I will utilize your foreknowledge to prepare for such a trap. Tell me, what do you recall about Pride’s abilities? What trickery should I expect?”

_Maniacal laughter. Piles of corpses. Burning buildings. Someone who may very well be able to_ rewind time itself _at the drop of a hat standing in the middle of it speaking words filled with pride and despair._

He blinked back the memory, “I only saw him once back then but as you can tell from what I’ve told you, he likes to work in the shadows. Definitely a coward who prefers to use others to get what he needs. Though our fight I got the impression that was not by choice. His physical strength is average for a civilian as is his magic. I don’t think he knows how to swordfight.” He took a deep calming breath. “But that is not the problem. The problem is his ability to rewind time.”

“But that has limits,” said Ferris flicking his ears. “He would have to have limits to that ability or you would nyot be here. He has nyo reason to risk your presence.”

“Don’t expect reason,” muttered Reinhard ignoring the echoes of mad laughter in his memories. 

“So he relies primarily upon others,” said Julius. “What company does he keep?”

_A girl with a dog. The Bowelhunter. Lots and lots of dead cultists. Cold invisible hands reaching out and gripping his very heart, as a women whispered words soft and indistinguishable over his own frightened heartbeat._

“The Bowelhunter was his faithful number two, but he hasn’t recruited her yet. The little assassin and her dog could be others. But the scariest was his ability to twist Ferris to his goal. We may very well be looking at problems from Emilia’s faction if she does not keep her wits about her.”

The other two nodded. “That would cause the most difficulty,” said Julius “As there is little we could do if he turned Roswaal or Emilia.”

“Except to lend our aid to our own canydidates, that they might win,” said Ferris.

_Like Felt_. The name alone caused a smile well up inside him and the fury and fear the topic drew from within him evaporated like the morning mist. He felt the sudden urge to tell them, Ferris especially. He had been closer to Fourier then Reinhard and would probably rejoice in fulfilling their dead friend’s dream. 

“We should return to them,” said Julius, “My lady will be missing me.” He and Ferris were already rising to go and Reinhard reached out his hand to stop them…

“Reinhard?” said Ferris. Oh, they were both looking at him oddly. It was the same expression they’d worn when he’d spaced out from his memories of Pride.

The thought of Pride cashed his happy thoughts down into the depths of his subconscious. “Nothing,” he said dropping his hand. Felt was safer from Pride, for now, if no one knew about her. “Be safe,” he all but whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Royal selection.


	3. So You Would Take on the World?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Royal Selection is here, and the stage is set for Felt's debut. But Reinhard is not the only one enacting a plan tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For clarity: Marcos is the head of the knights, Miklotov is the head of the council of wise men, I don't know who the bushy browed council member is so his name was not included.

Reinhard had been expecting that Pride would come to the meeting for the Royal selection but between wrangling Felt into arriving, all the stage presence to have her appearance shock and amaze, and his father showing up it had slipped to the back of his mind. A fact that he only really noticed when he saw Emilia and her party with a prominent person missing. 

So Emilia had the sense to leave him behind; perhaps she had even let him go entirely. He really should have more thoroughly checked the rumor mill before coming. All he’d heard was rumors about the new fifth candidate. And while they had been useful for prepping Felt’s introduction so it was the most memorable the nobles had ever seen, as fitting of the lost princess, they had not given him any information on Pride. He should have focused more on movements in Emilia’s faction, for Pride not to be here, perhaps…

_No, he’ll come. If just to see his precious Emilia._

As if summoned by his thoughts Emilia’s eyes met his. She seemed like she had something she wanted to say, hopefully something on Pride, but at that moment the doors open and Lady Priscilla came in. With Pride. _Can’t resist making an entrance can you?_ Dramatics aside, this could be a problem. Priscilla was another queen candidate; was Pride trying to shift his alliance to her? No, this was Pride, he never gives up on his obsessions. Could he be trying to kill her? 

“So these are the candidates for the future ruler?” said Pride as he stepped in behind Reinhard. 

“You came, after all, Subaru,” Reinhard said and from the way Pride’s eyes widened it was clear he had not seen Reinhard standing in front of him. It was beneath Reinhard to feel a trill of smug satisfaction at his surprise, so he shoved the feeling it down as soon as he felt it. Still, he figured he’d better give this his all and turned to face Pride fully. “When I heard Lady Emilia would be here, I suspected you’d be here, as well.”

Pride’s whole face lit up. “Reinhard, I’ve been looking for you!”

“Hiya, Subaru!” called Ferris, dipping into their conversation hands up and flouncing. _What? When did Ferris meet Pride?_

“You…” said the shocked Pride

Time to get the situation back under control. “Oh, Subaru, you know him?”

That had the intended effect “Him??!” gasped Pride turning his attention to Reinhard. 

_That’s right, keep your focus on me._ “Yes, he is a knight, Felix Argyle. Despite his appearances he is male.”

That set Pride rushing around Felix from every angle as if that could reveal all truth to him, babbling about how unfair and pointless it was to look so cute as a male.

Predictably this offended Ferris, who huffed off with, “You’re the one who made the wrong assumption, Subaru!” or at least he seemed to huff off. Knowing Ferris he’d been scoping Pride for a reaction to slighting his pride by publicly flaunting his lack of awareness. Pride, however, seemed way more flabbergasted then offended. 

And then Pride’s face became a scowl and to Reinhard’s shock it wasn’t directed towards Ferris but to Julius who had appeared behind them. Julius just nodded and Pride’s expression got worse. _Oh no, Julius what did you do?_ He knew Julius could be stiff, but he invented the “Lines for Positive Public Relations” and “Words to say to comfort scared children” lists! How could he, of all people, offend Pride. Unless it was intentional, unless both his friends were testing Pride for his reactions. “Subaru, what’s the matter?”

“Where I’m from, this is the expression you make when seeing a romantic rival!” Pride declared providing no useful answers as usual. 

Before Reinhard could press Pride for a more sensible explanation, Marcos began speaking. _Show Time._

“Five?” said a confused Pride, and Reinhard regretted that he could not turn around and see the shock on his face.

“Yes, five,” he smiled to himself. “Currently there are only four candidates. The royal selection hadn’t even begun. But today… ” _Now it is your time to be blindsided by something you could never have predicted,_ “…history is set in motion.”

He is summoned forward and bows before the council and the candidates. “Honored members of the council of wise men, I, Reinhard of the Imperial Knights, would like to announce my missions completion. The dragon’s priestess, the fifth and final candidate for the throne, has been located.” He can hear the door open behind him and the footsteps on the ground. It was to good an opportunity to miss, he had to turn and see. “The one I, myself revere as queen. Her name…” _Are you watching Pride? Fourier, are you watching from beyond?_ “…is Felt!”

He felt the quiet gasps and the tension rise in the room, though all parties (save Pride) kept their reactions quiet. “Lady Felt, thank you for gracing us with your presence,” he said, adding a formal bow to drive even closer to home who stood before him.

Felt was not impressed, if her yelling and kicking was anything to go by. “You dragged me here with no explanation and what do you call this?!!!” In hindsight he probably should have told her but he’d really wanted it to be a surprise. And now she was making a scene. You can take the girl out of the slums…

“You surprised me,” he said. “What brought about such behavior?” _Other than the whole not telling you thing._

Felt continued to yell her troubles to the skies until her eyes fell on Pride. “What the heck are you doing here?” Her voice softened, something Reinhard would have been grateful for had it not been Pride to whom the quieter tones were directed. 

Pride smiled his fake smile, “Hey! It’s been a while. How have you be…”

Felt kicked him in the side. _That’s my girl!_ “Looks like the hole in your gut isn’t bothering you anymore.”

“If you were worried about that, be nice to me!” shot back Pride, but Felt met his annoyance with a smug grin of her own. Before she could reply Marcos called her forward. 

“So, what is it you want me to do?” said Felt with annoyance.

Reinhard could feel his whole heart smile, “I would like to say ‘act more like a lady,’” he said as he placed the insignia in her hand, “but this comes first.” The resulting gasp across the room was now audible. _Ahh, that little performance was so worth it._

“As you can see,” he continued as loudly as he could “the dragon gem has recognized Lady Felt as a priestess. With her participation approved, I believe it is time to begin the royal selection in earnest.” The knights all saluted and Reinhard felt a trill of satisfaction down his spine. Sure the next thing was one of the nobles calling Felt’s selection problematic, but Marcos’ response, reframing the question as a slight against the honor of the knights turned the focus from Felt to the knight order itself. _Look Felt, look at those who will protect you, I will guarantee it._

The nobles turned to muttering to amongst themselves until Miklotov Silenced them. “Knight Reinhard, would you begin by explaining to us what led you to her discovery?” he asked. 

_Fair question sir, well first I got transported back in time only to save the life of my mortal enemy…_ Reinhard knelt, backtalk would not do Felt any favors, and casually dropped his sword by his side where the nobles could see it. “I took custody of Lady Felt in the slums, about one month ago.”

“She’s a gutter rat from the slums!” exclaimed the noble. So much for the sword trick.

That set Felt off. “ Well sorrr-ey for being a gutter rat! You were the ones who dragged me here against my will!” _Please don’t bring that up, Felt can’t you see how they will use that?_

Fortunately Priscilla dragged the attention back onto herself “All of this long-winded lather could not be more tedious.” _Get us back on track Priscilla._ “Of course…” Oh no. “I suppose you lived as a gutter rat because you could only manage tedious conversation…” _And she went there, because of course she did._

“Oh?” Oh no, there goes his lady’s temper. “If you want a fight, you’ve got one.” Felt was still new to the court and probably had never faced a magic wielder or a Divine Protection wielder before. That was where he came in.

He negated Priscilla’s attack while giving a polite bow. “Many pardons Lady Priscilla, but if you want her, you will have to get though me.”

“What are you thinking, in a hallowed place like this?” scolded Emilia.

“I was only trying to teach an untrained little bitch her place,” said Priscilla but she backed off. There would be time to show up her later, but for now he needed to focus on getting Felt though her first introduction to society. All in all, it hadn’t been that bad. Priscilla’s attack was, sadly, to be expected and now that it was deflected to arguing with Emilia, he could finally relax. This was turning out far better then he’d hoped.

Marcos again called them to order, and the ladies went forward introducing themselves. He hoped Felt remembered the “Lines for Positive Public Relations” they’d discussed in the carriage, though really it couldn’t be worse than Priscilla telling the nobles to grovel at her feet or Anastasia out right stating she was only here because she wanted to own a nation. _Julius, my friend who invented the “Lines for Positive Public Relations," what do you see in her?_

Their turn came and Felt yelled out, “Hang on! Don’t get the wrong idea! I never said I’d be the next ruler! Who’d want to be in a royal selection?” Disappointing but not unexpected, he could still work with this.

“Are you saying you withdraw from the selection?” said Marcos. _No, no, she is not._

“Damn right I am!” she yelled.

“This is a joke!” yelled a noble. Was it the same noble? That guy had a problem. His reprimands were inconsequential. Or they were, until a council member opened his mouth to echo the very same sentiments.

“The Astrea family offers a gutter rat to rule us,” _I offer up the true heir, stolen from this place as a baby! The only hope we have to prevent a dark future!_ “while the Margrave Mathers endorses a half-devil? Utter foolishness!” Roswaal’s gentle rebukes did not sway his tirade, though he seemed far more focused on Emilia then Felt. All talk of Felt dropping out had been abandoned, so they may make it out of this yet. 

“Enough of your crap!” oh no. oh nonononononnononono. _How did I forget about Pride?_ He burned down a kingdom and ruthlessly slaughtered his fellow cult members all for the ‘love’ of Emilia. What would he do to a room full of nobles, knights, council members, and his political rivals? _Whatever it is, I will not let any harm come to Felt._

Despite Reinhard’s fears, all Pride seemed to be doing is yelling at everyone, striking poses that only mean something to him, and declaring himself Emilia’s knight. _Wait he is knight? When did that happen? I had my ear to the rumor mill, how could I miss that?_

“Ah he knows little of our world…” said Roswaal. _So he isn’t a knight, just self-proclaimed. Well, if that’s the most prideful thing he’s going to do right now…_

“Forgive me for interrupting,” came Julius’ calm voice, “but there is something I must ask him,” he turned to Pride, “if you truly proclaim yourself to be Lady Emilia’s knight.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” exclaimed Pride.

“You just declared that you are a knight,” Julius continued to say evenly, though Reinhard knew that running his hands through his hair was a sign of his frustration. “And you did so here, audaciously before the Knights of Lugnica!” _Oh. Oh no. Julius don’t!_

All the knights moved to raise their swords in support of their spokesman. Pride threw his hands up and Reinhard was grateful he couldn’t see his face, as the madness that slipped into his tone brought flashes of fire to his mind, “That was pretty well-coordinated. Did you guys practice that for this meeting?”

“Of course,” said Julius. “To make known to all the dignity of our empire, we are highly conscious of our identities every day.” _Julius I know what you’re thinking, but it’s really not worth it._ “Do you have the resolve to match that?”

None of his thoughts made it through to Julius, who proceeded to walk Pride though just how great an insult he’d given, something the boy did not seem to realize, and hold him to his prideful claims. Pride was, true to his title, unable to back down when it came to matters of pride no matter how greatly he embarrassed his lady. He was banished and Reinhard was left with a feeling of dread. Pride was not one to back down and now he was out of sight, what terrible thing could he be cooking up?

Would he go after Julius? 

Would he skip to taking out everyone in the room?

As if on cue, smoke filled the room. He reached for Felt but she was no longer beside him. _No. No I can’t lose her to him._ There had to be a way to get out of this. Pride liked to hide behind others, he would be easier to deal with if only they could see though this blasted smoke. And that he could do something about.

He raised his sword, cutting through the smoke and restoring visibility to the room. Only to behold Felt being carried not by a vengeful Pride, as he feared, but by Rom. Rom who was currently kidnapping a queens candidate from the palace itself. Reinhard may know it was meant as a rescue attempt but the knights, who could now see thanks to him, would not see it that way.

The knights were quick to subdue Rom and Marcos handed out the death penalty for such an intrusion. Felt protested but Marcos reminded her that she held no power “…you have publicly declared that you have no intention of participating in the royal selection. I am not obligated to obey your orders.” 

_Oh yes._

Felt lowered her head before raising it with a fierce gaze. _Show them what you are made of._ “Fine, I’ll do your stupid royal selection! You want me to try to be the next ruler right?”

“What are you saying Felt?” said Rom.

“That old man is my family, so release him now. Treat him with care!” Then to Rom, “We’ll talk later, Old Man Rom,” she said with a smile.

Once he was gone, Felt asked Reinhard, “Was this all part of your plan, too?”

“Certainly not,” he said with a smile. _I could not have planned it so perfectly._ “This was something far greater, guided by fate.” _Fate which brought you to me, and hope to this timeline._

“Are you a slave to fate or something?” she said with a laugh.

“No,” he knelt. “From now on I am your knight.”

“Fine then, I’ll work you to death.” Fine by him. His mind filled with hopes and dreams for their future. A future without a burning Lugnica.

“…may we conclude that you both intend to participate in the royal selection?” called Reinhard back to reality.

“Sure, I’m in. But let me say just one thing,” she said spreading one had towards the nobles. _Let them all see who you are._ “I hate the nobility,” she exclaimed before spreading her other hand towards the knights, “…I hate the knights. I hate this kingdom!” she declared. “So I’m planning to tear it all down! How about that?” she said cocking her head. Reinhard could feel the anger and shock emulating from the crowd in response. _Not quite what I would have gone with, but I guess the “Lines for Positive Public Relations” wouldn’t suit you._

“What are you saying?” came the cry

“If I become the next ruler, I’ll destroy everything! I’ll take down every last one of you, and bring a little fresh air into this country!” So she would take on the world? Well he could do that. She might be a spitfire but she was the hope this kingdom needed.

“Your mistress is quite an intense young lady,” said Miklotov and Reinhard failed to keep his smile on the inside.

“One day, Lady Felt’s words will reach everyone’s ears,” he promised. If his lady wanted to reshape the country, then he would stand by her. She was a spitfire and proposing far more radical ideas then he was used to, but he was fine with that. Because this was the queen who fate had led him to, the queen who would stop the dark future he’d lived. And if she didn’t believe in forgiveness for the nobles and knights who had wronged her, who was he to judge?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: The duel and its fallout.


	4. Friends are There Should You Need Them (this is not only your problem)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dual is on and it sets change in motion. Meanwhile Reinhard must learn to accept that he's not in this alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter up a little late, yesterday was unexpectedly busy. 
> 
> On todays chapter: Joshua is Julius' little brother. He has not appeared in the show as of yet, but I found he existed from the wikia and siblings are a major part of life so he's got a cameo here.  
> An atrium is a room with a skylight, often used as indoor greenhouses. They are as old as Rome so I feel justified putting one in this story, especially in a richer house.

Reinhard joined Ferris in explaining the events to the banished Pride. For one who initialized this conversation, Ferris was not being helpful, “Suburu, you’re Lady Emilia’s knight nyow, aren’t you? Let’s both do our best!”

“Forgive me for interrupting,” ah here was the madman of the hour.

“Why the hell are you here?!” growled the other madman. 

Julius ran his hand through his hair, “I wish you would not make such an unpleasant face. I didn’t expect you to warmly welcome me but if you take that attitude…”

“If I do then what?” growled Pride.

“It will call into question the respectability of those in your company,” said Julius. Wait, that was from the prologue of “Lines for Positive Public Relations,” _was he trying to teach Pride?_ “Do be careful.” _He was!_ Reinhard turned fully towards Julius, hoping to convey some sort of admonishment. Julius seemed to notice but did not stop talking. “Now you asked me why I was here, did you not? I came to see you of course, I would like you to come with me for a bit.”

Pride did not seem to realize he’d been challenged to a duel until he was in the arena. He stood there gapping at the people and the design for a moment before going into basic stretches. The look in his eyes, while not quite mad, was enough to tell Reinhard this was a bad idea. With Pride on the other side of the arena, he took the opportunity to try and talk Julius out of the duel. 

“Julius you shouldn’t do this,” he said trying to keep the worry out of his voice, and uncertain if he was succeeding. “It isn’t like you.” _You promised me you wouldn’t be rash, challenging him to a one-on-one duel means I cannot help you!_

Julius barely glanced at him as he took the sword. “He insulted us, the knights, before the candidates to be our future ruler and he mocked the chivalry we practice.” 

“I admit he said some things that went too far.” For the Archbishop of Pride to claim to be a knight, it degraded the very word knight but…“But for such a matter, he need only be warned and corrected.” ….a one man crusade will do nothing, _this is not worth your life, Julius._

“No,” said Julius stepping forward and raising his eyes, “this is not only my problem.” 

_“This is not only your problem,” Julius said right before he’d handed Reinhard his lists on positive public relations. Reinhard had been losing sleep spending every evening looking for Ferris, and it had been effecting his performance as a knight. He’d wanted to chase a lead at a local bar, ditching training some new recruits to do so. Julius had stopped him, handed him the list, and left to track down Ferris himself._

_The next morning his corpse turned up on his own doorstep with a neat little note pinned to it in Ferris’ handwriting._

And Reinhard could do nothing but watch as his best friend held his sword aloft to begin a duel. A duel to the death with the most dangerous man in the kingdom. He wanted to scream. He hadn’t seen Julius die. Not the first time. He could give him this much, he could watch this time. And if worst came to worst…

_Felt winked at Rom when she accepted her destiny as queen. She let go of the freedom she loved and fought so hard for to save a man she considered family._

…if worse comes to worst he would follow his mistress’ example and save a friend at the cost of himself. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, at least it will be over quickly.

As Reinhard had expected the duel did not last long. Also, as expected, it was brutal to watch. But unlike what he had expected, Julius emerged the victor by a wide margin. Subaru clearly had no idea what he was doing but Pride was too proud to quit. Julius beat him until he collapsed, and though he was spared an execution, Pride ended up humiliated in front of the entire order of knights. 

Reinhard had never been more terrified. 

Pride had personally targeted Reinhart for taking out an enemy he’d failed to defeat with ease, even though it had been Reinhard’s job to take care of such matters. How much more would he hate Julius for humiliating him in front of the group he so desperately wanted to join for something as foreign to him as Honor, no matter how much Julius seemed determine to teach it to him?

_Fire everywhere, a madman’s laugh, the pungent smell of burning bodies…_

And how much worse would he inflict on Julius? What else could he still do? Target Joshua first; little brothers would be easier to kill then best friends who were already knights. Or would he stage something to ruin his reputation, dragging it through the mud as he had with Reinhard? 

The thoughts and fear filled his head until he was practically running down the corridor to find Julius, just to know he was fine, to see him alive and warm and breathing. Not dead, dead and cold and still, slumped on his own porch with a note from the braindead shadow of Ferris.

It was only though his diving protections, that he managed not to slam into a still coherent and very much not brainwashed Ferris. 

“Slow down,” said Ferris. “You’ll cause a scene.” Without touching Reinhard, he managed to draw him into a little room. “Tell me five things you can see.”

“I’m not panicking,” he hissed out. Ferris raised an eyebrow. “You, stone floor, stone walls, shelves, is that a broom? Is this a broom closet?” The closet was dim, but he could make out that much.

“Four things you can feel,” said Ferris without acknowledging Reinhard’s question. 

“It’s hot, My jacket itches, the wall is smooth, the broom is rough.” He held the broom in his hands; it was far lighter than a sword.

“Three things you can hear,” somehow Ferris’s voice was both quieter and louder than it had been before. 

“Your voice, my own breathing, faint footsteps outside.” Faint footsteps heading east, probably heading off to eat. 

“Two things you can smell,” said Ferris without twitching his ears.

“Dust and cleaning solution,” whole closet reeked of it so strongly he wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before. 

“One thing you can taste.”

“Dust,” he finished finally able to focus on Ferris’ bright eyes and uniform, calm and real, and looking at him with clinical detachment and mild concern. “Ferris have you seen Julius?”

“Are you worried for him?” said Ferris. 

“Yes! He went and challenged the _Archbishop of Pride_ who burned _all_ of Lugnica to the ground to a duel and humiliated him. That man ruined my life for far less. I need to talk to Julius, need to know he’s alright. And what he was _thinking_.”

“He was thinking that the boy needed to be humiliated so the knights would nyot kill him. He was thinking he could save a child though playing the bad guy, garnering sympathy for the boy at the cost of his own reputation.” Ferris’ voice was steadily rising. “He knyows what he’s doing, Reinhard. I knyow you remember him as dead, I knyow you fear Pride, but if Julius wants to play bad guy to save an arrogant worm of a child because he believes it to be the honyorable thing, we can’t exactly stop him,” he clenched his fist and let go, “nyo matter what we think.”

“You disapprove,” said Reinhard slowly.

Ferris closed his eyes, and Reinhard recognized his own expression of surrender reflected in his friend. “I dislike this child. He’s inept as he is arrogant. But I healed his wounds and I do nyot think him physically capable of what you describe. Nyot nyow.” He opened his eyes again and met Reinhard’s. “He’s the worst, but he’s nyot a threat. Not right now.”

“Ferris, he can _rewind time_.” 

“Then why hasn’t he?” snapped Ferris. “That was humiliating for him and broke the trust his lady had in him. Yet still it has happened. He hasn’t rewound time to undo the duel, nor to myemorize Julius’ fighting style and win. He just lay there and took it”

Reinhard didn’t know what to say to that. 

“It’s nyot that I don’t think he would if he could,” continued Ferris. “I just don’t think he can. Right nyow he’s helpless. And that’s my professional medical opinyion so don’t take it lightly.”

Reinhard took a steady breath. “You’re right. There are clearly limits to this ability that we don’t understand. And he very well may not be able to rewind at will. I’ll think over this…but I still need to check on Julius and to do what I can to smooth this over.”

Ferris sighed. “I don’t see the point of going to the trouble. But the boy will be staying with us until further nyotice, at the behest of Lady Emilia. As for Julius, you know where he goes when he’s lost honyor doing something honyorable.”

Reinhard closed his eyes. _Ferris healed Pride, he has no reason to lash out at him yet. He’ll be surrounded by Crusch’s people including my grandfather who are capable fighters. Not to mention Ferris will be expecting any foul play._ “All right, just be careful, and watch him.”

Ferris bounced on his feet but his grin was that of a cat about to pounce, “Oh I will.”

Julius was exactly where Ferris had said he would be, lying on a couch in the atrium of his families estate. Convincing Joshua to let him in had been easy, in fact Joshua had practically pushed him towards Julius’ current location. A benefits of his reputation and long friendship with Julius was Joshua’s trust that he would solve any and all problems with Julius’ current mood.

Julius glanced up when he came in the atrium but didn’t great him. This must be weighing on him more than Reinhard had feared. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Reinhard began, “and I think I should act as go-between for you and Pride. I’m not sure how much good it would do to sooth the ego of one of the most dangerous men I’ve ever met but…”

“He is a child, Reinhard,” Julius interrupted, growling into the couch. “A bratty one, an arrogant one, and maybe he would have grown into your Pride with time but here and now he is a child. Combat reveals much about opponents and that is a boy in love and nothing more.”

Reinhard blinked. Point to the Pride not remembering theory. But still… “Children can be assassins to.”

Julius pushed himself up and glared at him, “You know what I meant.”

Well, fair. “Perhaps he is a child, but even if he were one, should I not still act as go-between? You did your part, you kept the kid from getting murdered and have suffered the dishonor, normally this would be when you’d need a go-between.”

“You can try,” Julius said as he flopped back down on the couch. “But the code demands he apologize before amends may be made and your inner hostility make you a poor fit for go-between.”

“Better then Ferris,” said Reinhard.

The sides of Julius’ mouth twitched up. “Better then Ferris.”

Reinhard took a deep breath before stepping out of the carriage. _Here goes nothing._ He walked up to the gate, the perfect picture of a remorseful knight, and asked to speak to Subaru. It did not take long for Pride to appear, followed by his fellow servant from the Emilia camp.

Pride looked tired. Ferris reported that he’d been sleeping poorly. His expression of vague disinterest and discomfort managed to both invoke sympathy in Reinhard for Subaru and fear of what Pride would do to Julius. 

He could do something about the latter. He bowed to Pride. “Forgive me.”

Pride pulled his hands up and his expression, though still tired, became more placating. “Hang on, what do you have to apologize for? None of this is your fault,” he said spreading his arms earnestly.

“No,” Reinhard continued, not moving from his bow. “I am a friend to you as well as to Julius,” _don’t you dare hurt my friend for my mistake,_ “My own lack of virtue was responsible for my failure to stop a disagreement between my two friends. That duel had no meaning.”

Saying so he glanced up. Pride’s face had become cold and still. Removed from the madman who’d confronted him, but still hinting at danger below. “No meaning,” he said in a soft voice that could be mistaken for a whisper had not the narrowness of his eyes told how close he was to growling those words.

Insult to his pride. Well, get over it. Julius, I am doing this for you. “No. What came of you two fighting here? You were hurt and Julius tarnished his own career.” _Here goes nothing._ “Why not try to have a calm open discussion with him? I’m sure that will clear up the misunder…”

“Reinhard,” Pride interrupted suddenly snapping Reinhard from his practiced speech. “I get how you feel, and I appreciate it. You really are a nice guy.” Those words, so paradoxal coming from a man he’s killed, a man he hates, sent some hope though him.

“Then…”

“But I can’t accept that proposal,” said Pride raising his voice. “We’re done talking. Go back now.”

“Subaru…” said Reinhard as he watched Pride head back in. So close he’d been so close to getting though (so close to touching the heart buried inside) “Why? What did you gain from that duel?” _It was a blow to your pride and the respect others had for you._ “You’ve only suffered losses.” One last card, “Even Lady Emilia…”

“You’d better head back for today, Reinhard,” Pride was already closing the gate behind him. “Before your mistress gets lonely and starts yelling for you.” Was, was that a threat? Or was he using the Felt card because Reinhard had mentioned Emilia?

He didn’t know.

He didn’t sleep well that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For extra angst: Joshua was the one who found Julius' body in the past timeline. Reinhard was the second person to see it, drawn to the sight by Joshua's scream not to mention being already on route to return the "list of positive public relations."
> 
> Next time: Post battle with the whale and witches cult  
> If you have not seen the first episode of season two there will be SPOILERS!!!


	5. May You Find the Truth You Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New information leaves Reinhard with more questions than answers.  
> Or "Reinhard invents the conspiracy board."
> 
> For anyone who has not watched the first episode of season 2 or finished arc 3 in the web/light novel there will be SPOILERS!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Felt lives on the slums, I figured even if she could read she wouldn't be able to do it well, hence the references to her learning. This would, of course, be something Reinhard would prioritize as she will need it if she wins (when she wins, as he would say).
> 
> There will be SPOILERS for those who have not seen Season 2 Episode 1, this is your last warning.

Reinhard spent the next day busy with Felt. She was less then pleased with being unable to attend the duel and more than a little freaked out by his father. She was also adamant on recruiting Rom to their party now she knew where he was. Oh and three random street thugs. Well at least they had a proper camp now. 

This is why he felt entirely justified with not knowing until well after it had happened that the white whale had been killed, nearly a month early, by Natsuki Subaru and Wilhelm Van Astrea. The rumors surrounding the event were crazy. Some claimed Wilhelm had decapitated it with a single blow as payback for killing his wife. Others said it had been a combined joint operation by the Emilia, Anastasia, and Crusch camps and the fighting had been more evenly distributed to which ever member of the camp most favored by the teller. A scary amount claimed it was all the doing of rising star Subaru. Surprisingly a lot claimed there’d been a major blow to the witch cult as well. And many whispered that Crusch was dead or at least heavily injured. That was enough for him to contact Ferris as soon as possible. Julius too, for moral support.

Ferris was a mess when he arrived. Crusch’s memories had been hit, only after they had thought it was all over. They were lucky she was even still alive, with the state of the others they’d found, but the strong leader Ferris had grown up with was gone. They’d spent a lot of time on that before Ferris was ready to move onto another topic of conversation and when they did…

“ _Subaru_ lead the attack?” said Reinhard. He went after the white whale? Why? What did he have to gain taking out one of the beasts that practically gave him pawns on a silver platter?

Ferris nodded. “He was myoping about the myansion until he suddenly came back with a metia that reveals the date, time, and location of a white whale attack a whole myonth before your memyories of our demise. He offered that and a trade agreement if we would help him take out the witches cult hiding on Roswaal’s land.”

“So he’s still going after the cult,” said Reinhard running his fingers through his hair, “He’s just using us instead of assassins.”

“It was a fair deal,” said Julius crossing his arms. “My mistress specializes in such things. He was working with us, not using us.”

“He used himself as bait against the whale,” said Ferris miming out the fight. “Road on when nyo one else would. Climbed onto the beast and leapt off to lead it into our trap. I may have been hasty in my judgemyent of him, though he does attract trouble,” he said glancing off into the distance “…quite literally.”

Reinhard glanced between the two of them; something about this felt rehearsed. “Do you now agree with Julius then? Do you think him unaware of the future?”

“No,” said Ferris. Julius glanced over in surprise mouth open in protest. “I still think he’s Pride. But I’m beginning to suspect he does nyot remyember your future. I think he was pride, and left for some reason or anyother.”

“Sloth did not recognize him,” said Julius. “A vital piece of our plan hinged on that fact. Surely he would have recognized a fellow archbishop.”

“He outright admitted he had informyation about the cult because of times he didn’t want to remyember,” shot back Ferris. “That’s as good as confessing he used to be a myember.”

“He could just have easily stumbled upon their plot and fled with the information,” said Julius. “Or perhaps he lost his name to the white whale’s fog. At least, that’s what my mistress believes based upon the lack of information surrounding him.”

Ferris glanced down, and for a moment Reinhard was worried that the words “mistress” and “lost name to the white whale” had drawn them into dangerous territory. He glanced at Julius who had uncrossed his arms and was hesitantly reaching out to pat Ferris on the back. Ferris however took a deep breath and sat up suddenly with a bounce, nearly knocking Julius over. “It’s nyot just that, I saw how he faded out in the middle of that myeeting. It’s exactly how Reinhard fades out when he’s remyembering the future. I think he might know but he could just as easily be remyembering something equally terrifying like leaving the cult. Whatever he was thinking, he appears genuine in his efforts to improve and iron fast in his loyalty to Emilia. He just assumed that the victory would be claimed by Crusch and he willingly went out of his way to ask for help as part of a deal. A prideful person would just demand help or do it himself.” Ferris flopped back down. “That’s nyot to say he’s nyot dangerous, and I’m nyot sure I trust Crusch with him. But for nyow he has my respect.”

“While I disagree with Ferris on Subaru’s connection to the cult,” said Julius. “I witnessed his distress upon finding that Rem girl in a coma. And I aided him in the fight with Sloth. I believe he has potential which could easily be shaped for good or ill. But as of now, it remains firmly rooted in the side of good,” he pulled his hands together and met Reinhard’s eyes. “That I believe, was your doing. Your actions when you found him in that alleyway changed the future. Somehow, you helped him move on to a better path. As of such, it is unbecoming to spend the rest of your days looking over your shoulder over a matter you’ve already resolved.”

Reinhard sighed. “I will think about working to trust him. But that will take time. He’s cunning, I know that much, and you haven’t exactly set my fears to rest.”

“Try,” said Ferris, “That’s all we can ask of you.”

Reinhard closed his eyes. “I will.”

With them gone it was just Reinhard and his thoughts. So Ferris and Julius had been won over by Pride. Or were they right and he was the one blinded. He needed to think. 

Pride killed the White Whale but he also took out the Witches Cult. Pride did not reset his fight with Julius but he also refused to acknowledge its futility. Pride acted like a child but still behaved arrogantly. Pride liked Reinhard, the man who killed him, and tried to be humble but still spoke of dying like it had happened to him before.

It was too much. 

_Unless._

The scoreboard had originally been an imaginary tally, but bringing it to life could allow him to see all the evidence at once. Perhaps it would grant him a better picture of who Subaru really was. Allowing himself a brief smug smile, he grabbed some paper, stuck it to a wall, and began to write.

The first option was Pride remembered the future and had come back with Reinhard. He wrote “Remembers” on a large strip of paper. That unfortunately left no room for evidence, so he was forced to stick smaller pieces paper in the area below it. To support the theory was his obsession with Emilia, his initial nervous behavior around Reinhard, his Prideful behavior, targeting the Witch’s Cult, and having information on the Witch’s cult he should not. But by far the biggest support was how he mentioned that he’d died several times already. It looked so small on the paper, just a few words. He felt it should have more weight, so he grabbed a few scraps, placed them together and wrote “MENTIONS DYING” in large letters.

He grabbed another paper and wrote the second option “Does not remember,” to the left of the “Remembers” category. He didn’t have quite the space he’d had before so evidence for this one was scattered around in more of a group then a line. It included how Subaru called for help and admitted to his admiration of Reinhard, seemed unable to undo his duel with Julius, worked with Julius who publicly humiliated him to take out the Witch Cult, and took out the white whale.

Reinhard stood back and tapped his quill to his lips before jotting down, “Ferris and Julius believe he doesn’t remember. Ferris believes he is incapable of physically controlling his time ability. Julius believes he is a child and whose name was eaten and nothing more. Julius thinks I changed the timeline. Ferris thinks he was in the cult before and left.” He stopped and moved over to the remembers side, “Ferris also thinks he could remember and actively be trying to change.”

Reinhard starred at the mess. In his head he’d thought that it would be magically organized. Instead it was a jumble of papers on a wall. Ferris and Julius’ opinions could barely be seen. He needed a way to organize the mess. 

_If Felt sees this, I’ll never hear the end of it._

The thought of his mistress drew his eyes towards where she’d been sitting but an hour or two earlier. He’d been trying to teach her embroidery in hopes it would pass on lessons of patience. She’d given up in a huff and left, but the thread still lay on table disgarded. He grabbed one the same shade as Julius’ hair and a few pins. As he stuck the pins into the wall he internally promised he’d fix it before anyone noticed.

“Julius’ theory,” he mused. “Is that he doesn’t remember at all. Because he took out the whale which aided Prides so much,” he stuck a pin in the word whale and looped a piece of purple thread around it, “because he lost a duel,” he looped the thread around that pin too, “he thinks I changed things which is why he likes me so much, joined Emilia officially, and forgave Julius.” He sat back admiring his handywork and thought some more, “And his name was eaten by the whale meaning he very well may have already known Emilia,” he stuck his first pin on the “Remembers” side, “which is why he’s obsessed with her and initially nervous around me. It also nicely explains why he hates the Witch’s Cult.”

He stared at the purple mess. “But it doesn’t explain the dying multiple times comment.”

He grabbed a blue thread and ran it through most of the same pins. “Ferris believes all the same but that he was an archbishop or at least in the cult but left for some reason instead of someone who lost their name.” He paused again. “Which would mean the obsession with Emilia came from less than stellar origins, but does explain the time travel. At least, it explains it if he could time travel before he met me. Though not why he wanted to take out the whale, unless it was purely to get Crusch to aid him in taking out the cult, who were getting too close to him. Or maybe to Emilia?”

Now time for the Pride Remembers theory. He grabbed a red string and wrapped it around the dying comment first. “I think he very well might remember everything but is just playing us. That’s why he’s so proud and was initially nervous around me and obsessed with Emilia.” He looped the red thread around the pin about Pride admiring him. “He has told me he admired me before I killed him, so it’s not impossible for him to still hold those sentiments. He’s trying a different tactic to get close to Emilia by saving her and that explains his proud and borderline possessive behavior and using knights to get rid of the Witch’s Cult.” He pause and stared at the spots devoid of red thread. “It doesn’t explain why he worked with Julius unless he’s playing the really long game. It doesn’t explain why he took out the whale instead of using it to get Ferris as a pawn. The duel could be explained in him lacking control over his time ability, but that doesn’t explain the other two…”

Perhaps Julius and Ferris had a point about Pride not remembering.

Speaking of Ferris, there had been a second theory. He grabbed a golden yellow thread and started threading the Witch Cult and Proud behavior pins. “Ferris’ other theory is he does remember. He remembers and is trying to change. That would explain why he knows about the Witch Cult and still took them out and why he acts so proud all the time, while also explaining why he worked with Julius and took out the white whale. It explains his sometimes contradicting behavior towards me and the obsession with Emilia…though he couldn’t have much control over the time travel thing, or he’d use it more…unless that’s part of what he’s trying to change…”

He stared at the golden and blue threads that connected every pin in the board. At least with Julius’ purple he knew Subaru was merely an innocent who should not be held accountable for actions he would now never commit. But the Blue and Gold threads told the story of someone who had been a cultist and changed. Gold especially brought up questions of how much he could forgive the madman, if he was indeed trying to change. Should he even try? He knew all he’d done, even if the world didn’t. And he wasn’t really a man who believed in second chances. 

“What is that?!?” squawked Felt snapping him out of his thoughts. She stared at the papers full of his notes now covering most of the wall. “Just when I think ya might not be so bad ya do stuff like this. Maybe for once cou’d ya not act like a creep?”

He didn’t have an answer for her, so she moved closer struggling to read the words. They had been teaching her to read, but she probably wasn’t quite at the level to make out his scrawl. It had taken Julius years to make it out and Ferris still struggled. He shouldn’t worry.

“Su ba ru,” she read slowly. “Why you got his name scrawled all over y’er fancy board?”

He blanked on an excuse and “I’m trying to figure out something about him,” came out of his mouth before he knew it. 

“Hmmm,” said Felt. “Have ya tried asking him? He’ll probably just tell you, he’s not exactly the subtle type.”

That was…a good idea actually. Just outright ask him, with Divine Empathy activated. But he’d need some way to make it come off less offensive, while still leaving no room for Pride to dodge the question…

He dodged Felts kick and caught her foot. She seemed to be expecting that because she was already meeting his eyes. “Don’t ya go over thinking it. Ya’ve got a problem. He’s got a solution. Just ask him.” She paused and put her foot down with a stamp. “And that’s an order!”

“Of course, my lady,” he said giving a startled little bow. “I’ll arrange a meeting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: in the original draft of this, there was no conspiracy board but I needed Felt to show up and the idea of her stumbling on Reinhard in the middle of the conspiracy board meme was too fun to pass up. 
> 
> Next time: Reinhard and Subaru talk


	6. Happy Birthday! (So You Found a New You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reinhard finally asks a question. Or tries to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are minor spoilers for season 2 ahead.
> 
> The "Happy Birthday" scene is lifted from PrideIf, thank you to all my commenters who helped me find the link.

Officially, the invitation to come to a stargazing party had come from Felt. But it had been Reinhard’s idea as she had failed to see the point of throwing a party to mask asking a simple question. It took a while, but he managed to talk her into it. She would like it, he hoped, and he could talk to Subaru without interference from her or from others.

Unofficially, it seemed Felt had seen this party as yet one more possible escape attempt, though she seemed more to be doing it for fun and to explore the forest then genuinely trying to leave. He spent most of dinner and the evening chasing after her as she tried to venture out while he was distracted. She didn’t get away, but it did make for some trouble getting Subaru alone. Especially when she roped him, every other member of their camp, half the village children, and Emilia into a complex plan of multiple distractions and fakeout escape attempts to throw him off the real one. He had never been so grateful to Roswaal’s staff as he’d been when the yellow haired maid had come back from the forest holding Felt like a disgruntled kitten. 

That last one had tired her out, and she had complained of her distaste for his company and the pointlessness of this whole even. She’d seen the stars from the slums every night, she complained, and only Emilia’s quick thinking had gotten her to stay at the party instead of retreating to the mansion (where who knows what other escape attempt routes there could be). The method in question had been promising to regale her with genuine elf folktales. Which, of course, Subaru wanted to hear. And then he went on about tales from his homeland until Felt finally, _finally_ , nodded off on Emilia’s lap.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Subaru’s exclaimed throwing his hands around and raising his voice in pitch before pointing to Felt’s head on Emilia’s lap. “That’s my spot!”

Emilia merely raised a quite finger and nodded to the sleeping girl. Pride deflated into a pout and crossed his arms. 

Time to get him away from Reinhard’s sleeping Queen. “Subaru I know I am no beautiful women, but I would greatly enjoy your company and some more of those stories. Perhaps we should depart to a location where we can talk in peace without waking my lady.” 

Subaru brightened at that and as Reinhard began to lead him away, he snuck a peak at the reactions of the rest of their party. The others seemed preoccupied, seemingly chalking this up to “Reinhard trying to politely diffuse a situation.” Good, it would give him the privacy he needed. 

_Wait._

_Was that?_

Felt, her eyes open though her head remained on Emilia’s lap, was looking at him. She winked.

He fought back the urge to sigh. No one seemed to notice that Felt was awake, and he certainly did not want Pride to know, so he turned back to following Subaru who had now taken the lead. They ended up stopping just slightly down the hill from the rest of the group, where there were few enough leaves they could see the sky uninterrupted. Subaru had flopped down on the grassy slope and folded one arm behind his head. Reinhard joined him by gingerly kneeling down in the grass. As he waiting for the sky to begin its show, he prepared to evaluate Subaru’s reaction to his question. 

“Subaru,” he began, as he fixed his full attention on the young man and activated Divine Empathy, “have you ever…” He trailed off. Perhaps it would be best not to start with “Have you ever joined the witches cult?” If Felix’s first theory was correct that would not help him with what he really wanted to know. Well then, time to rephrase. “I mean do you re…” 

Something cut him off. Something cold and dark. Something he’d felt before. And she’d been angry. 

_Cold dark hands all over him, darkness, and fear. The fear of seeing the nightmare of any child face to face and filled with rage. Yet he spoke. And she listened._

_And then she laughed_

“Do I what?” said Subaru. “When you trail off like that I can’t figure out what you’re thinking. Is this a question about girls? Has one caught your fancy?” He tried to punch Reinhard in the arm. It did not hurt.

“Nothing quite so mundane,” began Reinhard again, mind racing to figure out what had just happened. “My question is more to do with…put it this way…” he braced himself, a sword saint did not let fear dictate him. “Subaru do you believe in ti…” 

The cold was back full force. This time everything froze. Even him. He sat there helpless to do more than let the memories he had forgotten wash over him.

_“Heroes uphold their bargains, do they not? And it is such a little thing. Just your silence. Just with him,” she said as all around her the scenes of thousands of people dying over and over again at the hands of Pride played._

_“Why?” he gasped out. She would not see him falter, even if the miasma was starting to wear away at his protective shield._

_“Because he is mine, not yours. And it would be to easy. I want to see if you can truly forgive someone, without knowing if they repent or not.” Suddenly she was right in front of him and the memoires surrounding her face were Julius’ death and Felix’s madness. “I think you can’t, I think even you are not so great a hero.”_

“Reinhard?” came Subaru’s voice suddenly sharp. “Hey buddy, you feeling alright?” 

The world was back in blessed motion. Subaru was staring at him wide eyes and Reinhard shook himself. He…he had been going to ask something. But the question and the memory from the stilled world were slipping away from him, evaporating like dew in the face of dawn. 

“I’m fine,” he said. “I was just lost a moment in my thoughts.”

“Must be big then,” said Subaru. “You sure this isn’t a blooming romance, I’m about to hear of? Ooooh,is it Felt?” 

Felt. Felt would be so mad if he did not see this through. He took a deep breath and…

“Do you believe in second chances?” was out of his mouth before he could really think on it. 

Subaru blinked at that, “Of course,” he said pulling his head up a bit. “I mean, mainly it’s just that I messed up. Right?” _Sincerity, Embarrassment, a hint of Regret._

Ahh, there was Prides ability to give an answer so perfectly on the line you never knew if he knew or if he didn’t. “So you would forgive someone even if they did you great harm?”

“If this is about Julius, I already apologized!” said Subaru flopped back on the ground and kicked his legs up and down before deflating with a scowl. Reinhard didn’t need Divine empathy to know that was _Frustration and Slightly Resentful Embarrassment with a hint of …Respect._ “We made up what more do you want from me?” 

_Truth would be nice._

“You didn’t answer my question,” Reinhard replied. “If someone did something awful to you and people you cared about, would you forgive them?”

Pride hmmmed. _Confusion_. “Depends I guess.” 

“On?” pushed Reinhard.

Pride was silent and he pushed himself up to a sitting position. He seemed to be struggling to put something into words. His emotions were running around in turmoil: _Sadness_ seeming to come up strongest but Reinhard could also pick up on traces of _Betrayal, Resentment, Regret, Love, Hope, and Resolve_. At one point Subaru subconsciously reached towards his heart and gripped his shirt there. “On what they did, on why they did it, on who was hurt and how bad, on how great the consequences were long term…” he wadded up a fist of his clothes and froze. _A Moment of Expected Fear._ For a second he was unnaturally still before he relaxed, letting his hand drop from his chest as he leaned back to gaze up at the stars, “…and if they were kind, had been kind, or could be kind again.” _Peace._

_“It surprises me as well, I did not think these feelings were in me,” he’d said once to a madman about his new feelings of hate and rage, something he’d never thought one such as him could ever feel._

_The madman, who he’d believed could never feel anything else just smiled, “So you found a new you. Congratulations. Happy Birthday Reinhard.”_

Reinhard lifted his gaze from Subaru to the stars above. They began to streak across the heavens lighting up the night above. He heard Subaru let out a gasp. “Happy birthday, Subaru,” he whispered.

Subaru chuckled, “Its “make a wish” not “happy birthday.” And it’s not even my birthday.”

Reinhard closed his eyes. “I know,” he whispered to himself. Then in a louder voice he said, “Then my wish is for our friendship to grow ever stronger.” _And that one day, I wish to share your belief in second chances._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two things Reinhard was trying to ask are "Do you remember the future?" and "Do you believe in time travel?" He also believes "happy birthday" has an alternative meaning in Subaru's culture (probably tied so some sort of symbolic rebirth), based on how Pride used it. 
> 
> I tried to keep Satella as vague as possible, as I'm not yet sure on what her actual personality is aside from Yandere. She wasn't in the first draft, but certain season 2 events inspired me.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Behold the Unthinkable](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28426329) by [Arouctine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arouctine/pseuds/Arouctine)




End file.
